CHRIST IS MY FIRM FOUNDATION

So, how do you explain to everyone what's been going on. How do you explain something that is so personal but can help face the circumstances. The only way I thought was jumping back on the blog and try and explain. Blogging is now not one of my creative priorities. I'm trying to give it up. Do I need to explain every detail, every pain. Feel free to skip this if you don't want to hear. You may need tissues for this one 

So, I have just done chemotherapy round two, 6 days ago. And i kid you not it has been a tough and extremely painful week. But i was warned session two and three are the worst weeks of your treatment and boy they weren't wrong. There were times this week where I had reached my limit. It got me asking alsorts of questions and numerous doubts.

I'm not going to pretend that cancer and chemotherapy has definitely felt like has smacked me in the face this week. Since first leaning of my diagnosis I've never been in denial, daily listening to other stories, good and ridiculous suggestions. But when you experience the physical reality like muscle pain, hair loss, lack of taste it has really hit home. Yet by the grace of God, painkillers and good people I am fighting through this battle.

We all have our own coping mechanisms and it something I've learnt pretty quick. One of these is walking, many will know I love my walks but last weekend taught how far now im unable to go. Also this week I've had to accept it need practical help around the house, that's been tough to get outside agencies in especially when services are already stretched.

Yet my faith in Jesus has pushed me on (I'm not out of the woods yet). This week I bought a new wireless speaker and every morning between 10 and 11 I make a conscious effort to play uplifting worship music, set myself a manageable task and also check in with a family member and my neighbour next door. I struggled with mental health in the past and I realised this week I needed to put things in place. And ultimately lean into Jesus through this battle. It definitely not looking at it though Rose tinted specticals im living the honest reality and that's okay. I'm OK to be having these feelings but I won't let them be an excuse.

God has cared and carried me through every stage of this cancer journey since January and I look forward to the late summer when I might be able to finally put it behind me. I am most certainly looking forward to a promised and longed for trip to the seaside. To dip my toes into the sea pain and trouble free. To be back worshipping in my church fellowship again without any conversations about Cancer and treatments.

Many people say I'm looking well sounding positive. But we all can wear the cover-up masks that hide how we really feel. I've learnt to shut out the cynical and meaningless comments. I guess some people don't know how to respond. I just want people to treat me the same, no preferable treatment as I shared in a recent poem; "at the end of the day I'm still me, the girl you've always known."

Theres a bible verse that has been a constant almost daily repeat that is Phillipians 4:6-7; Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Many of you know by now it is the scripture God gave me on the day of my diagnosis. It is such a familiar passage of scripture, so often frequently misused as a blanket command to "just stop worrying". People often treat these verses as a magical cure for anxiety, and troubled times. Yet I've learnt the value of this scripture not just a quick 'pick me up'. Worry is the most natural human thing to do - i wouldn't be human if I didn't. But we can still worry and have an amazing relationship with Jesus. Yes I worry but not as half as much if I didn't have Jesus (he halfs my worries). Let's talk about it further, drop your thoughts in the comments below. 


Jesus said; if I am weak I should come to him, no one else can be my strengthI should come to him. For the Lord is good and faithful He will keep us day and night We can always run to Jesus - Jesus, strong and kind. This is part of a song by Colin Buchanan, What a wonderful promise to us that even in those darkest deepest valleys we find ourselves that Jesus is there too. I daily feel hemmed in by God Grace, His word spoken or given, Love and faithfulness.

Here's the song that I now refer to as my anthem song in this season. It has kept me sane throughout. When you discover the words you'll understand why I sing it daily. As I share the words with now, I pray you will also find strength through them.

  “Jesus draw me ever nearer As I labour through the storm. You have called me to this passage, and I’ll follow, though I’m worn. May this journey bring a blessing,

May I rise on wings of faith; And at the end of my heart’s testing, With Your likeness let me wake.

Jesus guide me through the tempest; Keep my spirit staid and sure. When the midnight meets the morning, Let me love You even more.

Let the treasures of the trial Form within me as I go –And at the end of this long passage,

Let me leave them at Your throne.”

I believe God has been using me through my treatment. Especially in the amazing Lingen Davies centre at Shrewsbury Hospital. This is where im having treatment, and it has lead to conversations with Medical staff and others of how my faith in Jesus is keeping me going and how my church has been incredibly supportive. Sometimes I feel the legacy of my late Christian spilling out; Such amazing woman of God who never failed to tell the world about Jesus. 

I'm now further on to completing treatment. In the next few weeks I will decide if further treatment the way forward. I appreciate your prayers for me, my sister and my family as we navigate our way through this difficult season.

God bless


Sarah Joy